The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
