So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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