shes about as inviting as chlamydia
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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