can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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