You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
