Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
