I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
