DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
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