i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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