there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
