You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
