All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
