and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
