so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
