If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
