her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
