better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
