sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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