ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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