Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
