Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
