either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
