Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
