and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
