I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
