Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
