Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
