i just wanna soil my oats bro
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
