It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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