you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
