dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
