Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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