if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
