its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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