i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
