The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
