What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
