Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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