You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
