did you get engaged???
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
