I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
