ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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