even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
