i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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