I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
i am craving dick and cupcakes
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
