Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
me + whiskey = a bad person
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
