i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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