You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
