There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
