your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
