I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
