So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
