this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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