jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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